TTT (The Total Thirst / Time To Think / Try To Taste / - please create more suggestions) is not a space for arguments and disputes but for gifts, insights, suggestions, visions, desires of ours and perhaps even love if once a penguin will disappear inside of us.
(In case anybody would like to be removed from the list of this net please send us back three capital letters NWP /not willing to participate.)
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Thanks Leo for your dark flower and thanks a lot Stephan for your path of liberation n letters for TTT.
Gia
Hi,
My dear Fans,
I love you all and I want to talk about something perhaps interesting for all of us which i need to share with you.
Last week I work on my large project "DEPRESSION", it s a huge piece of 10 years work.
So I worked one week again, try to comprehend it in a philosophically, psychologically and also in an artistic way. Depression is destructive force; it is an inner fight between our ego and his projection in this world the evil thought.
Florian wrote the letter about the Black box the ego is this black box,
it makes us feel divided in a special way, creates intimate, private and public zones.
All about "DEPRESSION":
Being in depression one is self-destructive not only a surrounding looks dreadful, but you also see memories which are showing you how filthy you are, how senseless is a future and you wish to be vanished. Maybe it s a moment when the ego recognises that in fact it doesn t exist and one must carry the guilt of being. But more it destroys itself the more it becomes bigger at the end we become a super-ego like a hermetic room where only the ego exist.
With these thought I was sitting having no idea what to do with myself. Oh yes, I remember it s started with the feeling of uselessness, that I had no idea what I am doing Here; so my ego began to searcher how to motivate myself to do some things that make me feel better that people would address me saying I love you, I enjoy you, this boy is great so interesting, so brilliant, or maybe even better this boy is so radical I hate him but he is really gorgeous.
So I didn t know what to do with these thoughts, what to do with myself myself tried to eradicate me.
It was very painful, I felt like standing in an eye of a hurricane, silence and lonely and around me everything is chaotic and nasty no way out for human being. I was caught in this dreadful body.
I jumped into it in the night when I was lying in my bed and my ego went schizophrenic, hurting itself in the most violent way. In this weird condition I had a vision of an ocean and the light reflecting on its surface. Waves and moves on the water surface were like life with its reactions and connections and similar to my inner self which reacts to the outer and then moves to the inner surface (depression endlessly changes forms, ego has no stable condition). I saw under the surface a not reflecting light streaming into the endless darkness. In this very moment I imagine that the huge body of the ocean water is I this vision suddenly made me feel healthier I was able to watch these moves of my ego like performance of something what is alien, unfamiliar, strange.
So, at least I ve got this release when I close my eyes and look inside of myself I feel like watching outside is an observing inside. So to say I feel like a body which is grabbed into the world and when I open my eyes and see what I see I see the inner side of my body.
I hope you have got some clue and it s SuperDuper what I am writing that all of you can say I love you and thanks.
See you later
Lord Lui (the Leo the Great) (M.Badrinas@gmx.de)
Hi Gia,
Thanks again for your mails and those from flo and others who share the "thirst", I mean "the total thirst"!!!
I'm sending you some pictures from an unexpected project.. As I told
my parents sold their house and we moved the stuff etc and there are
some "artefacts" left from my Waldorfschool times. I didn't want to
keep them and so Im created "the first inofficial art path" in a
little forest nearby the old house. People taking a walk and being
aware of the surrounding could now have fun with unexpected artpieces.
..one (the lovers) are already taken away (is it illegal to steal
illegal artpieces?!?).
Later more...
Have a nice time*
S
(Stefan) (stefstark@yahoo.de)
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